Hey Jakey,

Daddy got a job! He starts at Wells Fargo two weeks from now. This really couldn't be more perfect. New job, more money, and two weeks' worth more bonding with you (i.e. mommy gets to get outta the house a little bit and daddy babysits...). He celebrated by buying pizza tonight. Shame, I've been wheat-free for about two weeks now. Oh well, start again tomorrow.

I'm having a helluva time keeping up with this whole nursing schtick, Jakey. It's hell on my nips, for one thing. You can be a little piranha sometimes. And trying to establish decent pumping before I go back to work is hell on my pocketbook especially. Let's tote it up, shall we, Vanna?

1. Avent Isis Manual Pump (plus express shipping from amazon.com): $75
Pumping for hours yields about an ounce, so I go on to try the...

2. Medela Lactina hospital-grade pump rental: $20 for one week, plus $20 deposit, plus $45 for the personal pumping kit, which didn't fit, so I had to special order the...

3. Medela Personal-Fit breast shields ($8.95) and connectors ($9.95), plus express shipping from BabyCenter.com ($9.68)

4. Fenugreek to stimulate milk supply: $8.95

5. Mother's Milk Tea to stimulate milk supply: $4.95

6. Not to mention "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" ($15.95), "The Nursing Mother's Companion" ($13.95) ), Lansinoh breast cream ($8.99), Lansinoh breast pads ($7.99)

7. Knowing that I'm doing all I can to make sure you get plenty of the world's most perfect food: Priceless. Ha. You're killin' me, son.

I bought you an umbrella stroller and a new outfit today. I got the new stroller cuz the jogging stroller is waaaaay too big for you. I stuck you in the new one, and you screamed like it was the most traumatic, painful thing I've ever done to you. Sigh...

Why can't you just be like normal babies? Find SOME enjoyment in life? Stef sent me a picture of her and her 4-month-old out at the beach with their mothers' group. Wow. First off, Stef looks way skinny, that pissed me off, and her baby was smiling. Anyway, I can't join a mothers group, cuz you would scream the entire time. If I took you to the beach, you would scream the entire time. If someone took a picture of you, you would scream. Argh!!! You can be about as fun as a (screaming) Tamagotchi, remember those? Or how 'bout this: whenever I used to play The Sims, and I would get a pop-up asking "do you want to adopt a baby?", I almost always declined, cuz the baby was ANNOYING, screaming, screaming, and I would ignore it, until the social worker came by and took it away.

Oh wow. Unwarranted vent. Sorry. I just wish you were happier. That's all. And if I didn't vent *here*, I'd wind up venting at you and daddy. So, when you read this someday, know that I love you with all my heart and soul. And boobs.