Hey Jakey,

The weekend after your daddy and I found out that you were on the way, we went camping. It was too early in the year to go to Highland Creek because it was still closed for snow. So we went to Hermit Valley and camped on the banks of the Stanislaus. I tried my damnedest not to smoke, but did manage to sneak away just once to have *one*.

We've camped there a number of times when we can't get to our regular spots, and daddy's actually caught fish there. Hermit Valley is one of the sites where Marcia and I camped way back in college when she was doing her frog population study. That summer I played "Hop Sing" to her and her frog partner, making their lunches, running into town to buy supplies, making and breaking camp, generally just being their "bitch." It was actually one of the funnest summers of my life.

Someday I'll have to tell you about me and Marcia's "breakup." And someday you'll learn that breaking up with friends is ten times harder than breaking up with lovers.

Daddy and I talked about a lot of things that weekend: him getting another job, my concerns about the radioactive pill that I took to diagnose my thyroid when you were about a week old (in utero), what we would possibly name you.

Back then, we knew in our guts that you were a girl, and I told him that I would kind of like to name you "Wavy," after a character in a really great book I had read a year or two before, "The Shipping News," by Annie Proulx. They made a movie out of it, with Kevin Spacey and Julianne Moore. Moore played the Wavy character, and I still can't see her without thinking of you as a girl. When he sees her, Daddy says, "You were almost named after her." I didn't think he would take to the name at all, but he actually liked it, I guess. Later on, when we got back home, we decided Wavy would be short for Waverly, which in Old English means "quaking aspen," which in turn has always been my favorite tree. Nice.

When we found out you were a boy, we were at a complete and utter loss as to what to name you, and we went back and forth about it right up until the last month. Some of the frontrunners: Rory (cuz we saw that name in the credits of the movie "Dazed and Confused"), Garett (when we were going thru our Old West gunfighter phase), Pacey (as a middle name; he was our favorite character on Dawson's Creek, lame, I know... but cool name), Zakk (after daddy's favorite guitarist Zakk Wylde, he's in Ozzy's band).

So when we came up with Jakob, it kinda was a name that we agreed on cuz neither of us hated it. Jakey Lee is the name of one of daddy's other favorite guitarists. So it was Jacob; I added the "k" cuz that's how Bob Dylan's son spells his name: Jakob.

Your middle name, Wolfgang, was a sore spot between your daddy and I for a long time. He hated the name. I loved it, and wanted it for your first name: Wolfie. It's what Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli named their son. I thought it was sooo incredibly rock and roll. All my friends and even my doctors and nurses were referring to you as "Wolfie." Some still do. But daddy wouldn't have it (rat bastard...); I was lucky to hold onto it as your middle name. Now I think he realizes how cool it is. Up until the day you were born, I was harboring a secret desire to just sign the birth certificate: Wolfgang D... P... (my last name as your middle name), and face your daddy's wrath later. Y'know? Fuck him, he can name the baby what he wants after *he* goes thru nine months of morning sickness, eh? But I caved, and you were named what you're named.

God, we didn't know how many Jakes there are running around out there right now. Recently found out that our meth-addict neighbor's oldest son is named Jake. Hey, you wouldn't hurt my feelings at all if you wanted to refer to yourself by your middle name. I know plenty of people who do it. But Jake's a good solid name. It passes the "Supreme Court Justice ______ (insert name here)" test. Unlike the currently popular Aiden-Braden-Caden-Jaden craze.

So that's the story of your name.

My, look at the time. Mama does ramble when it gets late. I'm gonna try and actually put you down in your CRIB tonight. You'll just have to suck it up and LIKE IT, dammit. Love ya.