Hey Jakey,

I'm at work again, not getting much of anything done. Surfing the web, reading about babies and such. Your grandma's here, and you and she are getting along famously. We're not having any of the problems with her that I was anticipating. You love to sit in a big ol' lap; she loves to have a baby sitting in her big ol' lap. Good news all around. Only problem with that is that she can get you to sleep all day, and then when you come to bed at night, well... look out.

This pumping-at-work thing is going well. I've been discouraged from using one of the empty offices downstairs, so I've set up a nice little nest for myself in the ladies room. Nest = fold-up tv tray and an extension cord. All I need now is a tv and I'm good to go.

I've been here for four hours already and have gotten nothing work-related done. I chatted with Cherie for an hour, then we went to lunch, then I came back and immediately got on the internet. I have absolutely no desire to work. I don't even know what the correct time is. My watch says one thing, the computer says another. I'm screwed if its really 3:30 and not 2:30.

I've got to quit reading the breastfeeding message forum. I've got to realize that if you're hanging out in a breastfeeding forum, then you probably don't have much of a problem in the first place. I'm just imagining the flames I'll get if I post what I *really* want to post:

"Hi, my name's Failure, and I'm here looking for advice. I don't have much milk, and I never did. I feed my baby approximately half formula/half breast milk (and that's being generous...), and I'm able to pump about two ounces a day. Where do I go from here?"

I'd be laughed off the message board. They'd say "we don't want no formula-feedin', so-called "mommy" and her saggy-ass, no milk-spurtin' boobs anywhere around us!"

Sigh...

I don't think I have it in me to actually start working, baby! I know what I have to do, and I just can't bring myself to do it! Help! If there were other people in the office today, I'd be more motivated. But it's just me now, messing about and avoiding the inevitable.

Okay, I'm going to check my email one more time, then get to it. Yes. That's what I'm going to do. Love you love you love you, and wish I was hucking you around the park right now. It's such a glorious day outside!