Hey Jakey,

As of last week, you've officially been outside of my body longer than you've been inside my body. Congrats.

When I left you and your daddy this morning, you were face-down on the kitchen floor, in the middle of a pile of tupperware that you had pulled out of the cupboard, fast asleep. You've been doing this a lot lately. I think you may have a wee bit of narcolepsy or somethin'. I found you asleep in front of the open refrigerator door the other day, and last night, you fell asleep in the hallway. I seem to never be around right at that moment when you decide, "Hey, I've had enough of rearranging the tupperware, I'm going to fall asl--- zzzz..." I mean, is it a sudden thing? Or are you woozy and heavy-lidded for a bit before you hit the ground? You're a weird, weird baby.

Daddy's been putting together a DVD out of all the video he's shot of you over the past 9 months. It's unsettling to see what a different baby you are now than you were back then. You were such a tiny, greasy, squalling thing. We were never able to get video of you actually smiling until the recent Halloween video. I don't know how I survived you. You sure looked and sounded miserable in that early stuff.

You were Eeyore for your first Halloween this year. Adorable! The costume was just a bit too big for you, and will most likely be way too small next year, so I'm going to make sure you wear it for pajamas for the next few months.

This was the cutest that I've ever decorated the front porch for Halloween, and we got half as many trick-or-treaters than we did last year, and last year it snowed. Oh well, Halloween kicks ass all over Christmas, at any rate. I looooaaaaathe Christmas.

So on the way up here, I had to do it, just to get it out of my system. I finally went thru the new In N Out Burger drive-thru. There were at least 20 cars in line ahead of me, but the whole experience only took about 10 minutes. Yeah, the Double Double is just as good as I remember. There--now I don't ever have to do it again. But I deserved this. I'm getting over a superflu from hell right now. I've been sick for over a week with a hacking cough, fever, headache, the runs, everything. Today's the first day that I've felt any better, so a burger was in order. And fries.

I had to do some company-mandated bowling for the Rotary fundraiser last night, and it was the first time I've bowled in over a year. I'm such a random bowler. It's got nothing to do with skill, it's all about luck. The first game I bowled a 75, the next game I beat the hell out of everybody with a 160 (4 strikes, picked up a few spares...), then the last game I came in dead last with a 71. Pathetic. And I lost my voice about halfway thru the third game.

Your Nana went home last Saturday, and yeah, I miss her. She sure kept the house clean and kept us in groceries while she was here, and it was great for your daddy and I to get away by ourselves a couple of times. She did drive me a bit crazy though at times. We don't have a whole lot in common anymore, and don't have a whole lot to say to each other, so we just keep trotting out the same ol' stories, and bored each other to tears. She sure is good to you, though.

I can see some major conflicts between her and your daddy's mom if we don't get this holiday-sharing thing straightened out. Your other grandma seems to think that she will get you every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that my mom and dad can visit her house in Cupertino if they feel like stopping by. Nuh-uh. I don't want to be put in the middle of this, but it looks like I'm going to have to lay down the ground rules. Your daddy certainly won't help, cuz he's such a pussy when it comes to his mother. If it were completely up to me, I would spirit just the three of us away to a tropical, all-inclusive resort for the holidays. Screw everyone else. Hmpht.

Oh yeah, since the last time I wrote, we elected four more years of W. There was a foreign newspaper headline this week that read "How Can 51,000,000 People Be So Dumb?" Embarassing. Really embarassing. At least I can take comfort in the fact that when I dragged my sick ass out of bed on Tuesday to vote, I probably infected everyone in the 45-minute line (W voters all, I'm sure...) with my superflu. Hack hack. I gotta start being tougher with you, so that when you're drafted in the near future, it won't be such a culture shock. Really, I'll move your ass to Canada before I let that happen.

Sorry it's been so long since I've written. The physical act of sitting in front of a computer makes me want to retch, so I avoid it when I can. I do constantly blog in my head, though. And it's the thought that counts. Love you!