Hey Jakey,

Just for future reference, this is Taylor Hicks, the man who MUST win American Idol this season, or all hell will break loose.

Sincerely,

Momma, aka: someone who, on the surface, appears not to give a rat's fat ass, and will deny even knowing of the show's existence, except in a jaded, ironic way, but who, in truth, is an American Idol fanatic who will go all homicidal and shit the day that Taylor is voted off the island.