The Asians on the bus do math homework, math homework, math homework

Hey Jakey,

I think today was the hottest of the year so far. I dunno. The weather page says it only got up to 100 today, but your daddy and I both dragged thru the day like we was gonna DIE. I look around the dinner table tonight at the three of us, and we're all hunched over our plates, with these slack looks on our faces, and it was just about the saddest lookin' little family ever.

Just put you to sleep. I sing you to sleep almost every night of your life. Way back in the early days, you enjoyed a "Hey Jude (Jake)" and "Lullabye and Goodnight" combo. Then it was Christmas carols. Then for a long, long time it was a "Farmer in the Dell" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" combo.

I'm hoping you're not growing out of our little bedtime ritual, but you're starting to get restless with the oldies-but-goodies. I find myself having to change it up more and more often. Last week, you thrilled to the sound of the end theme to "Beverly Hillbillies," the theme to "Greatest American Hero," the Do-Re-Mi song from "The Sound of Music" and the "Perfect Nanny" song from "Mary Poppins." If those songs don't grow ya up gay, I don't know what else will, short of some selections from "South Pacific" and some Barbra.



You didn't really want anything to do with the Beverly Hillbillies tonight, so I went to a good ol' standby, "The Wheels on the Bus." But there's only so many things that can happen on the bus, especially when you're not particularly ready to go to bed yet.

So after the windows went up and down, up and down, up and down and the wipers went swish swish swish more than several times, I had to get creative. We started singing about the Jews on the bus drinking Manischewitz, the Crips on the bus drinking 40s, the Asians on the bus doing math homework, the hoe's on the bus saying "Wanna party?" and the pimps on the bus yellin' "Shut up, bitch!"

I apologize, sweetie. I think the heat's scrambling my brain. Must go to sleep now. Love you!