Yay! You're still here! And ummm.... wow, you're still here.

Hey kids,

You were supposed to be gone by now, but the weather hasn't cooperated. It's supposedly the biggest dump since 2005, whatever that means. I don't remember 2005, but I guess there was a lot of snow. Nobody, most of all my own kids, belongs out on the mountain pass roads when the weather's like this, so you are home with me instead of with your Cali grandparents. According to the weather forecasts, this shit won't go away in the foreseeable future. Which is more than fine with me, I just wasn't planning on things turning out this way.

I haven't done any of your Christmas shopping yet, I don't have a Christmas dinner planned. This weekend I had planned on going to the movies all day and baking all night. Also, baking with all sorts of stuff that you are allergic to, Jake. Walnuts. Egg whites. Cherries.

You are sick. So sick. Daddy had to pick you up from school early on Friday because you puked all over the library. Don't feel too bad, though. Apparently you were the third kid that did that Friday and was sent home by the school nurse. High five!

So you've been laying about on the couch and on the living room floor all day, looking and sounding miserable. You watched Nick on tv all day, stuff like "iCarly" and "Drake and Josh." I eventually asked you if you wanted to watch something else, like something on Nick Jr. and you said that channel was just for babies, which almost made me cry. But when I saw that Backyardigans was on, I asked you if it was okay to watch that for a little while, and you relented, a little enthusiastically, I might add, which made me feel a little better.

And apparently, all you felt you would be able to keep down was freshly baked cookies. "I'm so hungry, Mom! Why did you put walnuts in the cookies, Mom? Mom!" you moaned.

Sorry, Pooh. You aren't even supposed to be here!

Hmmm. Christmas shopping. I'm going to gamble that there will be some kind of break in the weather and that you all will be gone before Christmas morning. But if I break down and actually do go shopping, what do you want?

The past few years, I have not really gotten you guys anything big for Christmas. You get more than enough crap from your grandparents and others that anything your daddy and I would get you would go unnoticed and unappreciated. I focus on whiz-bang stockings and stuffers, which is fun for me to put together and fun for you, too, for the most part.

Jakob is so easy to shop for. Anything science-y or arts-and-craftsy or... Certain things just say "Jakob" and I don't know why. I saw a headlamp the other day, y'know, the kind that miners or hikers wear, and I knew that you would be over-the-moon for it. Or a Mentos-Diet Coke explosion kit:



Or a digital weather station, or a potato clock or a 1000-piece colored pencil set.

But Wavy, you're a different story. Apparently the only thing that really floats your boat or gets you excited and giddy (besides "chock-lick" candy) is your brother. If I could put a big red bow on Jakob and set him under the tree, you'd be beside yourself with joy. But since I can't do that, what else do you want, baby?

The only thing you have expressed interest in is a dollhouse, which at this moment, is wrapped up and sitting at your grandparents house. You have a minimal interest in clothes and nail polish and lip balm and that sort of stuff. You do love your Spongebob DVDs, and all things Dora, so maybe I will start there. Hopefully when you are a little older, this will all be easier.

I saw this commercial today, and it made me kind of sad:



So it's some kind of electronic toy that plays hide-and-seek with your children. I mean, why can't your kids just PLAY hide-and-seek? It's like all those Leap Pad products that employ all sorts of computerized pens and pointers and buttons to read shit to your kids? Why can't kids just pick up an old-fashioned, analog BOOK and read the damned thing. Sorry for the unintended rant. But, c'mon. Really?

What I really wish I could give the two of you is time. More time. I'm spending less and less of it with you during the day-to-day, so I wish I could give you a big box of fabulous weekends away, doing fun stuff in unfamiliar locales. Looks good on paper, but not so much under the tree.

Okay, everyone get well and stay well. Love you both.