Playing blog catch-up

More camping photos, including the requisite annual fall-in-the-firepit shot

Hey Jakey,

If I procrastinate about something (IF -- haha! When do I NOT procrastinate...), it takes on epic proportions in my head, and the situation quickly moves from daunting and straight into paralyzing. Like paying bills, or cleaning, or calling up a friend, sticking to a deadline at work, or... or... blogging.

It's been so long since I sat down to do this, that it actually became an item on my to-do list. A harmless pastime, a chance to sit down and catch you up on what's going on with your life, something that is usually a fun project, now relegated to a list of chores that includes cleaning out my truck, cleaning out my fridge, hot-synching my Palm Pilot and returning my NetFlix dvds.

Really, I love this shit, but it's been a busy few weeks and I haven't had the time or the energy. So, in the spirit of being an incorrigible list-maker (and incorrigible list-ignorer), I'll set this entry up list-style, and touch upon some highlights, one by one.

1. Nana and Papa

They came, they left, it was kinda miserable. In the interest of keeping the peace, and not starting a familial war, here is what I wanted to say to them upon their departure last Tuesday, but refrained:

Mom and Dad, whatever drama is going on between the two of you, please leave it at the state line when you come to visit. Your constant fighting and bickering leaves us all exhausted. Your resultant bad moods and silences make my husband and I uncomfortable, to say the least, and more often than not, leave us somehow wondering if we are at fault. I lived in that environment for almost 20 years, and am much too old now to be sucked back into that horrid cycle. At least I can recognize the cycle for what it is, but my dear husband was not raised that way, and spent the whole time you were here wondering what he could've done differently to make you both happier. That SUCKS. And I would never, ever say this out loud to either one of you, because it would break your hearts, but I believe that my son picks up on your out-of-control vibrations while you are here, and that is why he acts out in such an alarming manner. I love you both with all my heart, but this must end NOW.

And that's all I have to say about that.

2. Pre-pre-school

So your SLP called up two weeks ago and said there was an unexpected opening at the local Montessori school, but that you would have to show up the very next day. We had all planned on sending you at the end of summer, so this was a bit unexpected.

You're only able to go to this particular school because of a grant from the state that funds a handful of early intervention kids. We wouldn't be able to afford this otherwise; this particular school is tres expensive. For now, though, you're only there two days a week, four hours each day, to get you acclimated.



On the way out the door to your first day of school

My heart broke a little, the thought of sending you out on your own already, and having to fend for yourself. I spent a couple hours there with you your first day, and realized that you would do just fine. I was relieved to find that you were just a normal kid. Extra... normal. You weren't the kid rocking by himself in the corner with his hands over his ears, and you weren't the kid that cried and cried and clung to the teacher all day. You weren't the kid who got chased into the dirt and spanked by a big gang of bullies, your skirt all twisted up around your waist, AND you also weren't running with said gang of bullies. You were just... one of the normal kids. A little more rambunctious than the other kids in your group. You won't sit still for storytime or videos, but that was expected. You instigate some bad behaviors here and there amongst the other kids, jumping and climbing and such when you're supposed to be quiet, but I expected that, too. I'm so proud; some of the other kiddos throw a shit-fit when their parents drop them off, or when they come 'round to take them home. You haven't done that yet (touch wood!).

Your name itself is also extra-normal. In your small class alone, there's a Destiny, a Trinity, a Phaedra and a Landis. Interesting. Especially "Phaedra." What up widdat?

Your various therapists will meet with you there now, instead of here at the house. I'm having a hard time convincing myself that it's NOT because they hate coming to our messy and smelly house. Ha. So, the outlook here is sunny. I think you will have a fabulous time and will makes lots of new friends.

3. Today's adventure



Every day after work, I descend down the mountain and into the valley via a long and winding road. From this road, you can see the little town I live in, all laid out in the middle of the valley. Beyond this, when the light is just right, you can see the sun glinting off of a little lake not far at all from my neighborhood.

I had never heard anyone here talk about this lake, so I Google-mapped it, found out that it's called Mud Lake, got directions, and today you and I set off to find it.

Now, if we were to set off on foot, and could access it as-the-crow-flies, it would probably take us less than an hour or so to get there. As it was, it took us all afternoon to find out that you *can't* get there at all.

All the roads on Google look pretty much the same to me. Four-lane state highways are the same non-descript gray lines as single-track, deeply rutted, washed-out dirt roads, which all the roads to the lake turned out to be. And Google certainly doesn't distinguish a private road from a public one. Three of the four roads that lead to Mud Lake ended with a locked gate. After much back-tracking and map-consulting (and swearing), we found the one road that would take us all the way to the lake. But several long, bumpy, 4-wheel-drivin' miles later, the road became so deteriorated, that I finally said 'screw it' and backed up about a city block to find a decent place to turn around. All this after recently renting "The Hills Have Eyes." I half expected murdering mutants to jump out of the sagebrush to drag us back to their mine shafts.



You were a perfect angel all through this ordeal. You love the violent bouncing of the washboard roads, and I think you love the desert almost as much as I do. Especially from the comfort of a highly air-conditioned 4-wheel drive vehicle.

You know, baby, how this frustrates me. I can SEE the lake. I KNOW it's there. I know HOW to get there. I just can't GET to it. I've built it up in my mind to be a crystalline, private oasis that only I know exists. I have to remember that it's called "Mud Lake," after all, and that I would probably be disappointed even if I DID find it.

So we drove around some more back roads and found this instead:



It's all right, but it sure ain't no Mud Lake...


4. Et cetera, et cetera...

Daddy and I have gone to the celebrity golf tourney in Tahoe now for five years in a row. The past couple of years, your Papa has gone with us. Not sure if he really enjoys it or not, but he's a pretty good sport about it. *You* actually went one year, but you were just a tiny fetus. It was back in 2003, and I was just a few months pregnant with you. So already you have this in common with your little baby sister. Here are some pics I took of some celebrities for the website where I work.


Ray Romano and Ronde Barber, Charles Barkley, Bode Miller

Took a long lunch yesterday and visited a couple of crafts fairs, each on opposite sides of town. I knew I was looking for some kind of pendant, something to wear to honor your soon-to-be sister, and finally decided on this:

[insert photo of my new pendant]

Something pink, like rose quartz, would've been too cliche, so I chose purple amethyst. Purple is reminiscient of pink, without actually being pink. And I'm not crazy about heart-shaped jewelry, but this piece is reminiscient of a heart... Anyway, I loved the setting, simple but with nice details, I loved the dark, smoky color and I loved the shape of it. It was late in the day, and the vendor said if I liked anything I saw, he'd give me $5 off. That clinched it. So now it's mine, and I wear it, and I think of your new sister.

I've been getting my appetite back over the past couple of days. Which is good and bad, I guess. It was easier to just not eat, but probably not very healthy. Now that I'm hungry again, I have to deal with food again, which I've never been very good at. Sigh.

Finally got my long-anticipated book in the mail a couple of days ago:



Scott Smith's "The Ruins." I'm about halfway through. Pretty good so far. Tres creepy. Creepy in a much different way than his other book that I'm quite fond of, "A Simple Plan." I tolerate summer for only one reason, that's when all the really cool books come out. Otherwise, summer kind of sucks ass.

Well, dear heart, if you're still with me, good job. This was a long and tedious post, and for that I apologize. I'm sure all of this is way more interesting to me than it is to you. Love you!