Shiny happy people

Hey Jakey,

The second day of the seminar went down much more differently than the first. Actually, it was pretty intense.

There were a couple of really damaged people in attendance this weekend. They kind of reminded me of Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club. Addicted to self-help groups. They seemed like the kind of people that sign up for whatever motivational guru is in town for the weekend. Anyway, I remember thinking the first day, just frickin' shoot me in the head if I find myself having an epiphany or a breakthrough this weekend. Or if I become empowered or grounded. And most of all, please don't let me cry. Crying is for losers.

So. Yeah. The second day I cried.

We broke up into groups yet again, and our group exercise was to explore ways in which our parenting styles are proving to be incompatible with our child's learning styles. Earlier in the day, we had determined that I had an "Indulgent Parenting Style," while you were a "Sensible Playful Learner." Oil and water.

When it was my turn to share, I said, oh yeah, this is an easy one. I discussed our current situation, how your daddy and I are trying to get you to sleep in your own room. I said that clearly this was a case of a Sensible Playful kid needing more of an Authoritive Parenting style rather than our lax Indulgent style.

For some reason, the instructor asked me some stupid question that led me to the revelation that I didn't care where the hell you sleep, that I just wanted to stop fighting with you so much. Then I started to cry. The instructor gave me an understanding, doe-eyed look, and a pat on the knee, and then there was no stopping me. I snuffled and sobbed and told him to just please move on and help solve someone else's dilemma, but my group voted to stay with my problem. Thanks.

So, long story short, I wound up with more hugs, more hand-holding, more empowerments and breakthroughs, ending with the instructor and me exchanging email addies so that he can track our progress, and perhaps come and visit with you next time he swings through town.

In other news, I went to my ROB (repeat obstetrics) appointment today. When the nurse took my blood pressure, it was an unreasonable 186/86. Pish! Late last week it was 118/55. The nurse asked me if Dr. K made me nervous. Before I could censor myself, I said that it wasn't so much that she scared me, it was just that I didn't like her very much. The nurse laughed and said that was pretty common and she completely understood. She said she'd come back *after* I saw Dr. K, and take my BP again. So afterwards, my encounter with Dr. K over with, my BP was 148/71.

Starting this week, I have standing, twice-weekly appointments at the hospital for non-stress tests and fetal monitoring. This will continue until I give birth. Yay. At least these appts are at the hospital, and not actually with the supremely unlikeable Dr. K.

Non-stress tests are actually kinda nice. I usually wind up falling asleep listening to the sound of baby's heartbeat and the weird scritching-scratching noise she makes as she moves about in my womb. Plus the nurses over there are sweet and pleasant to be around.

All right. You're actually going down pretty easily lately, no fighting involved. Maybe you'll even sleep there through the night. Touch wood.

Love you!