Hey Jakey,

Very very busy. It's Christmas season and momma's overextending herself again, financially, time-wise, and in the tummy region.

I'm in charge of the dessert buffet at the in-law Christmas this year. I'm baking a variety of bar cookies, a couple of candies and a fruitcake. I should've just said, yeah, I'll bring a Costco sheet cake and have done with it, but momma thrives on self-imposed pressure and the resulting lack of enthusiasm from all involved.

Finished up shopping for your daddy's Christmas this morning, except for maybe a few stoopid stocking stuffers. He wanted Kill Bill 1 and 2, and since the sale at Blockbuster was 3 for a $25, I got him the special edition of Lost Boys, as well.

I love when I come in contact with people who love what they do. The clerk at the Blockbuster in Carson was a nice, nerdy young man, and he chatted me up for a full 5 minutes about Quentin Tarantino, living in Carson vs. living in Gardnerville, and the finer aspects of employee discounts. He made my morning.

Contrast this with the gal at the pharmacy the other day: I roll in to Scolari's at about 7:15 pm. The pharmacy closes at 8. After ignoring me for a minute or two, she asks me if I have called this particular prescription in by phone. I answer no. She purses her lips and looks at the clock. She starts angrily punching in my info into the computer. "We'll try to get this done for you..."

Okay, I invite you as a reader to do the following: blow air noisily out through your puffed cheeks. Hang your lower jaw down towards the floor, insert your tongue firmly into your cheek, then roll your eyes skyward. That, my dear little Jakey, is exactly how she told me to come back in 20 minutes for my prescription. Grrrr... I guess there are worse things in life than surly clerks, but they sure don't make life any easier, eh?

Speaking of pharmacies, prescriptions and the like. A couple or so days after we got back from San Jose at Thanksgiving, I ran out of Domperidone. No, Domperidone is not an expensive, fancy-ass champagne, it's the medication that I take to keep my milk supply up. It's not available in the U.S. but you can get it online from Mexico or Canada. I had ordered more Dom a few weeks before I actually ran out. It usually takes a little less than two weeks to arrive, but this time it never came. Seems that between the time that I ordered (and paid!) for it, the online pharmacy in Mexico shut down.

Long story short, two weeks after taking my last Domperidone dose, my milk completely dried up. You are no longer nursing. It's one of the saddest things I've gone through in a long while. I miss it so much! I've lost my secret weapon, the one thing that will calm you down when nothing else will. That one thing that I can do as soon as I get home from work that erases the hours that I've been away from you, how we connected instantly as if I hadn't been away from home for the past 10 hours.

Now, a sane woman would just let it go. Say, "Okay, I meant to make it to 12 months, but I only made it 10. No big whoop, let's move on." But I realized that I missed it too much and that I wasn't ready to give up. So when I got an email from the Mexican pharmacy saying that they were trying to re-send my order (I dunno, I think the pharmacy may have transferred their accounts elsewhere and the new pharmacy was trying to catch up with past orders...), I began my efforts to get my milk back.

I refilled my scrip for Reglan, which, like dom, is normally prescribed for acid reflux. One side effect of both of these is milk production. Reglan however, the medication that IS available in the U.S., has OTHER side effects, like sleepiness and severe depression. Taken long-term, there are neurological effects, like uncontrollable shaking and the inability to walk.

Dom has absolutely NO undesirable side effects, and is taken long-term by nursing mothers and acid reflux patients world-wide. It is my understanding that both Reglan and Dom are manufactured by the same company, and when they got FDA approval for Reglan years ago, they decided not to spend any money to get Dom approved.

Drug companies suck.

So anyway, I refilled my Reglan, which Dr. Becky gave me back in April, and started back on the fenugreek and blessed thistle, herbs that also spur on milk production. I'll continue with the Reglan until my new Dom comes in. Already, only a few days into the Reglan, I feel listless and tired. The milk is not there yet, but if things go as hoped, a few days back on the Dom should get me back on track. I did have a period of "milklessness" last summer, when I was between Dom prescriptions, and after a day or so of taking it, the milk returned. Hopefully that will be the case when I finally get my prescription in the mail. I'm hoping that the Reglan and herbs are "priming the pump," so to speak. After all, it has been almost three weeks now since I last had milk.

So sue me for caring too much. When you're finally old enough to read this, you will probably realize, as I already do, that I'm probably doing this more for me than I am for you.

What you're up to lately:

* "combing" your own hair (really, patting your head with your comb).
* I noticed yesterday that another tooth broke through down on the bottom and another is ready to break the surface on top, bringing you to a total of six teeth.
* I took you to lunch with the girls last Thursday. We went to Crosby's, and you behaved quite well. Everybody loves you. We really should do the restaurant thing more often.

Well, back to work. I'll let you know if the new milk regimen yields any results. Love you!

Addendum: 3:59 pm

Okay, I know this sounds really gross. But I just have to check back in with you and let you know:

Sunday afternoons, I've got the office all to myself. Plus, I'm fairly positive that there are no hidden cameras. So, I decided to see if there was any change in the milk situation, which involves... okay... I'll say it... squeezing my nipple to see if anything comes out. And, checking just now, yes. The Reglan is doing its thing. So... continuing with the Reglan. By Christmas Day, the severe depression should be kicking in, and by New Year's, I should be all palsy-like, just like Michael J. Fox.

Got milk? Hell yeah.