Hey Jakey,

Happy Birthday, little man! I've been telling everybody all day that this has been the longest AND shortest year of my life. So much has happened in such a short span of time, that it seems like it was just yesterday that we brought you home, but it also seems like a million years ago.

Imagine it, a year ago tonight, you and I were lying in a hospital bed, at odds with each other because you wouldn't stop crying. The nurses were frustrated with you, I was frustrated with you. I remember padding out of my room in the middle of the night, in my hospital gown and socks, and one of the nurses had taken you out of the nursery and had you on her lap behind the counter, and she had finally gotten you to go to sleep. You were hanging upside down, half on and half off her lap, very uncomfortable looking, but for some reason you were diggin' it.

I think it was the night after that when one nurse brought you to me so you could breastfeed. I started to get up to arrange myself and my pillows, and she said, no you don't have to do all that, and she taught me the side-lying nursing position. Wow, I coulda kissed her. That was mine and your favorite for as long as you nursed.

I was so disapointed when Dr. Shanahan gave me the okay to go home, a scant three days later. I knew that as soon as I got home, I would have to start doing for myself. I was soooooo enamored of having everyone waiting on me hand and foot. Changing my sheets for me, bringing me meals three times a day, taking you away to the nursery when I needed a nap.

Anyway, enough with the reminiscing. Today's your birthday!

Well, it IS Tuesday, so I had to be at work early, as per usual, then I had a meeting with B and S at Wild Alaskan, but I got home at around 4 in the afternoon. You opened presents, someone came to the door and delivered you balloons and a stuffed bear from your Nana and Grandpa and I baked you a carrot cake.

Here's your birthday booty so far:

* Lucy gave you a musical pop-up barnyard toy.

* Fran and Chris gave you a Wee People train thingy.

* Daddy got you a xylophone shaped like a tiger. ( I swear, sweety, I think you sometimes channel the ghost of Keith Moon when you get your hands on percussive instruments. THAT, I know you get from your momma. Not talent, no, but the desire to bang on things.)

* Your lovely Aunt Stef sent you a Baby Fun book set, and, *gasp,* the E.B. White set with Trumpet of the Swan, Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web. Now Jakey, don't you feel AWFUL for not having sent a Christmas thank you card. (No, really, Stef, if you're reading this, the Christmas thank you cards are addressed and stamped, they're just blank inside, like our black, ungracious little hearts. Jakey loves the Sesame Street CD. We all bounced in our seats to it over and over again during the car ride back and forth to San Jose. So.... thank you....)

* Various checks and gift cards from various relatives.

I haven't really bought you anything. My gift to you is the little mini-break that we're taking to Sacramento tomorrow. You and I and daddy are leaving early in the morning and, shitty weather permitting, we're going to go to the zoo and the train museum. I booked us a room so we don't have to drive up there and drive all the way back in one day.

Well, that was the original plan. A little getaway for just the three of us. But when your daddy told his mom, she said, "Oh! We'll meet you there!" Jake, when you're old enough to read this, you'll also be old enough to realize how much I love your daddy's mom. And you'll know that I say this with MUCH love: "Gah! I just saw ya'll's asses at Christmas time! Alright already!" Sigh.

So, we're meeting them in Sacramento tomorrow. Mike better not be grumpy. The weather's going to suck, and Mike will be grumpy about it. Anyway.

Well, I better get to sleep cuz we have to get an early start tomorrow. Happy happy birthday, dear heart. I love you so much.