Hey Jakey,

I read other people's blogs and start to get all self-conscious about mine. I like to think of myself as halfway humorous, and in real life, I tend to be bitingly sarcastic and somewhat witty. It just doesn't come across here. Some blogs are really really funny, and the writer isn't talking about anything in particular, just talking about day-to-day life. Some bloggers are detailing trips to far-off exotic locations. I hate the political ones. And I especially hate the ones that are written in teen-speak shorthand, sprinkled with non-words like "whattup" and "pplz."

I've gotten a few hits from people searching for "letters to newborns." When I Yahoo that term myself, I bring up lots of ultra-sad sites from people (pplz) writing letters to children who have passed on. There are also a few blogs that I've come across that relate the details of the writer's terminal disease, and which end abruptly when he or she has actually died.

There was a movie (looking up the details now...) from 1993, My Life, starring Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman. I haven't seen it since it came out, but I remember that it was unbearably sad. Keaton's wife (Kidman) is pregnant, when he finds out that he's dying and won't live to see his baby born. So he starts making videotapes for his son to watch when he's older. The one scene I remember is Keaton giving shaving lessons on-camera. He makes motions with the razor, saying, "Remember, it's up and down, up and down. Not sideways." I remember that line every time I shave my legs.

Sure, there's a little reptile part of my brain that thinks, hmmm... maybe I *won't* make that particular hairpin turn on Hwy 28 tonight on my way home, and I'll fly off into the cold depths of Lake Tahoe, and that will be the last anyone will ever see of me.

And all you'll get is this crappy blog.

Not that anyone you know is even aware that it exists. Daddy doesn't even know. Anyway... I love you lots, and will try my best not to die on the road home tonight! I'll leave with this (kind of a fun time-waster):

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Kelly
2. Kel
3. G-Money Bitch (a nickname in college that went horribly awry and dogs me to this day)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. highlandcreekgirl
2. starbug
3. gmoneybitch

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Filipino
2. White
3. ummm... that's all

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
1. Spiders
2. Speaking on the telephone
3. Writing checks while someone's watching me

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. NPR
2. Meat
3. Lip balm

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Wedding ring
2. Glasses
3. A fleece vest (a recent ebay acquisition)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. Son Volt
2. Cracker
3. Uncle Tupelo

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Beyond the Sea (sung by Kevin Spacey)
2. Beyond the Sea (sung by Bobby Darin)
3. Don't Fear the Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Exercise!
2. Cooking Asian soups from scratch
3. Camping with a baby

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Fairness
2. Give-and-take
3. Spontanaeity (sp?)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I'm full of falafel.
2. I'm wasting time writing about being full of falafel.
3. My eyes are blue.

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Sexy forearms
2. The ability to sing
3. Liberal use of pop-culture references

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Speak to a class of journalism students at SNC (sorry, can't do it, don't ask me again)
2. Wear sleeveless tops
3. Respect my boss

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading
2. Baking
3. De-cluttering

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go home
2. Apply lip balm
3. Go to Borders

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Geology
2. Lactation consultant
3. Caterer to the stars

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Alaska
2. Panama
3. Maine

THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Gemma
2. Steven
3. Modigliano

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. See the David Letterman show live
2. Go on an Alaskan cruise
3. Find that frickin' awesome pizza place in Terre Haute, Ind.

So there, if I die tonight, at least you'll know these useless facts about me. Bye-eee!