Hey Jakey,

We found out last Friday that my mother has leukemia. She had my dad tell me all about the doctor visit. I wasn't really listening. No, I was listening, I just wasn't *hearing.* After he said the word "leukemia" I just kind of blanked it all out. I'm refusing to feel too bad about all of this yet, mainly because my mom doesn't sound worried when I talk to her on the phone. She says the doctors are encouraging, and they're going to start her on some kind of chemotherapy that won't make her sick.

I don't know, it's all so confusing. I was wondering why my parents hadn't come to visit yet. They were dragging their feet for some reason and not getting plane tickets and hedging when they talked about exact dates. So now I know why. I hope they do get to come out soon, because you're growing up so fast, little man. Your first birthday is on the 25th of this month.

I'm pretty sure you said "momma" yesterday. Daddy heard it too. You walked up to me, handed me something and said "momma." Not sure if it was an accident of consonants and vowels, but it definitely sounded like "momma." You did it again today when I was making cookies in the kitchen.

Short one today, Jakey. I really don't feel like pissing away my day in front of this fucking computer. Love you.