Hey kids,
So I'm not usually one to write down my dreams or even remember them past the time it takes me to get up and tinkle, but I have to share this one because it was so deliciously AWESOME and weird.
Last night I dreamt that I was in a hot tub with Barack Obama.
I was sitting in a hotel hot tub at night by myself, when Barrie walks by in a smartly tailored suit. We start chatting, and I convince him to pare down to his white boxers, and he climbs in the tub with me, where we continue to chat and get cozy. All of a sudden, he spies an abandoned bottle of suntan lotion sitting nearby, and it has a blinking red light on it. Convinced that it is a hidden camera, he jumps out of the tub and grabs it, runs out into the street screaming that he can't take it anymore. As he runs away, I see photographers with giant cameras tumbling out of the bushes after him, rapelling down fire escapes and jumping into vans. Crazy. I think to myself, omg, I'm going to be in the tabloids! Whoot! I run back into the hotel and turn on a tv, and already Fox News is airing grainy videos of me as a child, with big lettering underneath, WHO IS OBAMA'S MYSTERY WOMAN?
Hardy har! What fun.
Wednesday was your last day of preschool ever-ever, Jakob. I am sad, but excited. Your end-of-school party was on Monday, and boy does Miss C STINK when it comes to throwing parties. Basically she invites parents to bring snacks and watch you all traipse through your daily routine. Snoozefest. Hopefully your kindergarten parties will be a bit more lively. And right now as I write this, I am realizing that I did not get her an end-of-year teacher present. Wow, I suck.
Wavy got a bit of bad news this week: your SLP is quitting her position with Early Intervention later this month and will be handing you off to someone else. This someone else tagged along this week for your home visit, and you didn't seem to like her at all. They finally cut the visit short, because you had clammed up as soon as they both walked in the door, and 45 minutes later, you still had not uttered a word or cooperated in any way, shape or form. Miss P (your SLP) will be heading up an intensive speech therapy class that you will probably be eligible for in a year or so, so she is not out of your life completely.
Here's another meme. Because I don't have anything left to say, except perhaps remark on the passing of Koko Taylor and David Carradine. I'm not really a big blues fan, but my editor is, so I find myself listening to it and writing about it far more than I normally would. So when I heard this morning that Koko Taylor had passed away yesterday, I at least knew who she was, and that she was famous for this song, which is a totally awesome song, by the by:
50 Questions:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Do I really, really need to take a shower this morning? Yes.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
A couple of crumpled dollar bills in my purse.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Snore
4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter. I love those illustrations that show that it could hold 6000 Earths.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Something work-related that I never followed up on.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Theme from The Magnificent Seven
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Blue striped pyjama shirt
8. Do you label yourself?
Fat and sassy
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
Bare feet
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Currently dark except for light from monitor
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Complete and utter stranger
12. What does your watch look like?
Don't wear one
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
It says "Here" and attached is a photo of Wavy at the Mexican restaurant
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
About a five-minute walk down the street and to the left
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
NO!
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Jakob, right before he went to bed
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My unshaved legs
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Dayquil, and an assortment of prescription meds that keep me alive
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
I did away with that shit years ago
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Pre-kid, I guess 23 was pretty good.
22. Your worst enemy?
My own stinkin' thinkin'
23. What is your current desktop picture?
A Star Trek still with that hottie Zachary Quinto as Spock
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Be quiet and go to sleep."
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Flying. But only if it somehow meant that I could steal a million bucks and quickly fly away from being apprehended
26. Do you like someone?
Yes.
27. The last song you listened to?
Wang Dang Doodle by Koko Taylor
28. What time of day were you born?
I don't remember.
29. What’s your favorite number?
23
30. Where did you live in 1987?
Terre Haute, Indiana
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Always
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
I highly doubt it
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Asleep in bed, here in G-Ville
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Curse, then occasionally throw good money after bad
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yes.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Around my forearm
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Chinese
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes
39. Are you touchy feely?
No
40. What’s your life motto?
Do unto others... yadda yadda yadda
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Glasses, comb, Badtz Maru wallet
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
G-Ville. Love the one you're with, baby... Other than that, San Francisco
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
I almost never use cash anymore. I think I bought burritos at the local taqueria last week, but only because they don't take debit cards.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I helped my son write a letter to Fran a couple months ago.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
If, by that, you mean take it to Jiffy Lube? Sure.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I never know who to put down as my first love.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
LOL
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Okay, the last time I wore heels was to a wedding over a year ago. I'm just not a fancy dresser.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My back, a little. I'm at your daddy's computer, and his keyboard is at a funny angle.
50. Have you been burned by love?
Yes.
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