Hey kids,
Momma just won another battle in the war on noisy tampons! What, you didn't know that we were in the midst of a bloody war on feminine hygiene products with decibel levels that put Who concerts to shame?
Last week, I had had ENOUGH. I have been using OB tampons since college 20+ years ago, and tout them to any and all who will listen. But within the last year, they have changed up the formula a bit, and now the tiny white missiles of absorbency are now encased in clear, bulletproof Tyvek jackets that are impossible to open without resorting to the use of sharp instruments. Which, when you are sitting on the toilet, usually means your TEETH.
I filed a complaint with the company's online contact page, outlining my basic grievance: that when trying to remove the plastic packaging from one of their products while in a public restroom -- a process that one usually hopes is quick and discreet -- rather, one sounds as if she is noisily tearing through and consuming a bag of corn chips.
I received this in my inbox today:
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Dear Kelly:
Thank you for contacting McNeil-PPC, Inc., makers of tampons. It is always important to hear from our consumers, and we appreciate the time you have taken to contact us.
Your feedback provides us with important information for our Quality Assurance department and we appreciate the time you have taken to let us know about this matter. The o.b.® Pro Comfort™ Super Plus is the only one with SilkTouch™ cover for ultimate comfort and protection. Noticeably easier to insert and remove. SilkTouch™ cover for smooth insertion and removal.
If you wish to buy the kind with the easy-off silk cover, buy the o.b.® Non-Applicator™ Super Plus. DO NOT buy the o.b.® Pro Comfort™ Super Plus.
Compensation for this product has been sent and should reach you within two weeks.
In addition, please do not discard the product you are contacting us about. We would like to have it returned to us, at no expense to you, for some Quality Assurance testing. You will be receiving a postage-paid, pre-addressed envelope for the return of the product. Please put it in the envelope and send it from any mailbox (there is no need to go to the post office). This will enable us to deliver the high quality products you should expect from Johnson & Johnson.
Again, thank you for your interest in our company. Should you have any comments or questions in the future, please contact us via our website WWW.OBTAMPONS.COM or by calling our toll-free number, 1877 454-7843. Our specialists are available Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m - 8:00 p.m. EST and will be happy to assist you.
The Information Center
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So, not only are they addressing my issue with a check for $4.99 plus tax, they are going to research and dissect the remaining unused product to try and see where the hell they went wrong.
I've been trying to picture in my head what this particular section of their R&D department must look like, and I'm sorry, this is all I can come up with:
You kids thought you'd be getting my post-Lost finale dissertation here? Not bloody likely. I am still chewing on the happy, sad, up-with-people ending and trying to decide if I am satisfied or not. Mostly yes, but I still need a wee bit more time to grieve for my Losties before coming up with my final answer. Period.
Less than two weeks until you leave me for Grandma. Remember that you will always love me best. Sleep tight.
4 comments:
I am dead tired right now but I have to tell you about this product. I have used it for ab0out 2 years now and will never go back to pads or tampons. You can use it well past 8 hours if your flow is light enough. I will never go back. it takes some getting used to but if I could sell it privately I would. A great product!
http://www.divacup.com/
Barb
Ooooh! Just checked out the link. I will have to look into this.
Definitely check into it Kelly. The first 2 months I was wondering why I had wasted my money. I hate it. It was difficult to use at first. I had a hard time getting it in correctly and it leaked. (So, if you get one use a lite-days at first.) The third month I go the hang of it. I wish I had it years ago. It would have saved a lot of money. It also does not leak (now that I know how to use it) so it would have saved a lot of clothing.
If someone told me that I would get a lifetime supply of tampons and never have to pay for them again I would still not go back. I love that I am not contributing to the huge waste that comes with tampons and pads. I love that I have not spent a penny on tampons in 2 years. I love that I can keep it in overnight and longer than 8 hours.
Anyway...I know I should not be this excited about a womans product but when my daughter gets her first period I will be getting her the Diva Cup.
Barb
That is " I hated it". I don't hate it now. :-)
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