Lumbar? I hardly knew her!

Hey kids,

I threw out my back last Saturday. In cold, clinical terms, I have a "sprained lumbar." For six whole days, I was bed-bound, with a side trip to the emergency room on Monday, where they gave me a cursory once-over and a scrip for Percocet (sweet Percocet). On Wednesday, I went to my regular doctor's office, that lovable den of gay and gay-friendly lady docs who always seem to be able to fit me in at a moment's notice. It was there that I was labeled lumbar-ly challenged (whilst laying flat on my back on the cushioned table, staring at the rainbow poster taped to the ceiling), and I obtained scrips for a pretty potent muscle relaxant and some more Percocet (sweet Percocet).

Today really was the first day that I was able to get out of bed without mentally preparing myself for an hour beforehand, then spending a second hour actually doing it. There was actually a day (Monday, to be exact... ER day), that I had to crawl to the bathroom on my hands and knees.

So I've been home all week with the two of you, being as snuggly as I am able, watching Project Runway marathons and a boatload of Spongebob. And here is but a sampling of the movies I have watched on cable: Dirty Dancing, The Edge (Alec Baldwin at his dead sexiest), Deep Impact (twice!), Seven, American Pie, Educating Rita, Strange Days (Ralph Fiennes at his dead sexiest) and Titanic. Of course, the pharmaceutical cocktail I'm on keeps me pretty loopy most of the day, but I've found that the two of you are pretty amenable to climbing into bed with me and taking a nap in the middle of the day, and running little errands for me, like finding the Tivo remote, fetching your daddy or taking my dirty dishes to the kitchen sink.

If I still have a job to go back to on Monday, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, I will go. It kills me to sit in this chair in front of the computer for more than 15 minutes at a time, but I am already so far behind that I may never catch up. So mend, little lumbar, mend! I start physical therapy Monday afternoon, so hopefully that will help. I can't imagine how that will do anything but make me feel horrible, but I remain hopeful.

Okay, my Skelaxin-Percocet with an ibuprofen chaser is kickin' in pretty good right now, so I will call it a night. Love you both!