Monday, August 08, 2011

What's in Momma's purse?

This is my purse of the month. It's a large, boxy number by Nine West that I bought on a whim because the price was right. I didn't think that I would like it as much as I do. I was *hoping* that I wouldn't like it as much as I do, because it's not that attractive. But it's deceptively huge and holds all my regular stuff, plus all my extra stuff (full-size camera and my iPad and a bottle of water or three) when I need it to.

1. Prescription sunglasses that are about three prescriptions behind my regular prescription sunglasses.

2. My super-duper Card Cubby wallet. See below.

3. Checkbook. I almost never write checks anymore, but whenever I found myself in a situation where I need to, I never seemed to have it on me. So I resigned myself to allotting precious purse space to the damned thing.

4. Pens: A gimme from Half Moon Bay Comfort Inn and one from Flying Fish Grill, also in Half Moon Bay. I thought maybe when I used them, I would be transported back to our recent vacation there. No. Also, the black Sharpie Johnny Hickman used to sign a photo I took of him 17 years ago.

5. A comb. I have four of this same comb strewn about my house, because no other comb will do. I would rather not comb my hair than use a comb that is not this particular species of Goody comb.

6. First aid and sundries #1. See below.

7. Change purse. It's a purple cow, you see.

8. I've discovered Aleve and now use it in copious amounts.

9. My "smart" phone. If you know me, you know how much I hate phones. But this one is fun to take photos with and upload to that social networking site. You know which one I'm talking about.

10. Lip Medex by Blistex. Not Carmex. Not Burts. Lip Medex, which of course is harder to find than than any other lip aid.

11. Tiny tape measure. I never knew how much I would use it until I actually had one in my purse. I measure things all the time now. All the shit I buy now FITS where it's supposed to, yo! No more buying 9" pans when I meant to buy 8" pans.

12. First aid and sundries #2. See below.

First aid and sundries #1:

1. Bite ointment. I take the kids lots of places where they get bitten. It is what it is.

2. Nail file.

3. Tweezers.

4. Eyeglass kit. Perilously low on those maddeningly tiny screws.

5. Burn ointment. I try not to take the kids lots of places where they get might get burnt, but you never know.

6. Souped-up bite ointment for those souped-up bites that occasionally happen.

7. A dollar store multi-tool that will be the surgical instrument used to hack my arm off ála Aron Ralston when I eventually find myself between that rock and that hard place.

8. Cough drops.

9. Two doses of Benadryl for Jakob, if and when he ingests one of those myriad things that he is allergic to.

First aid and sundries #2:

1. Big bandaids. The bigger the kids get, the biggers their scrapes.

2. More cough drops.

3. Three days worth of my prescription meds. Meaning I will make it through three days of the zombie apocalypse before throwing myself at a pack of zombies and begging them to put me out of my misery.

4. Wet wipes and Shout It Out wipes. Can never have enough of these. I have small children. 'Nuff said?

5. Small bandaids.

6. Backup lip aids. Cuz the zombie apocalypse is gonna dry us up beyond all belief.

7. Allergy eye drops.

8. Airborne tabs, mixed in with Tums.

9. Discount store Neosporin.

10. Ventolin, sweet Ventolin, for my asthmatic moments. Thankfully they are few and far between these days, but I still gotta carry it. The thought of it *not* being in my purse makes me all angsty and asthmatic.

The vaunted Card Cubby. A godsend to organizational freaks like me. Freaks who take it upon themselves to document the contents of their purses. But really, I don't know how many times I didn't use my discount cards because I couldn't find them in my old wallet. But nowadays I'm all about the fro-yo punch cards and at least 5 different frequent flyer sandwich cards. Don't judge me.

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